Free Yourself

Once again I’ve taken on the task of trying to lose weight. As the struggle with my gains and losses continues week after week, it is becoming increasingly clear that a multitude of issues are seriously endangering any sustained weight loss. I have read enough material to instinctually understand that most all the "holes" in my plan are of my doing… and some really don’t exist. That is, they are just excuses.

I recognize that I exchange years of a healthy life for every Krispy Kreme doughnut and Snickers bar I enjoy-- which always seems to go on sale when I reach a milestone in my quest. This has led me to the following questions: #1--What are the factors that lead to our destructive behaviors and decisions? #2-- How are some able to eventually change and make decisions for a better life?

Two people come to mind: my mother and Roseanne, a personal friend of mine.

My mother smoked two packs of cigarettes every day for most of her life and in her mid sixties, stopped smoking in one day. According to her, she stopped after she saw a commercial where a man’s head fell off after he smoked. She just stopped. Roseanne (Ann) had a serious drug addiction, which seemed out of control. When all hope seemed lost, she was able to reverse her fate. She is now a spokesperson and leader in the fight against drugs. She said she stopped when she was finally able to convince herself that she was a better person than the person the drugs had created.

Lately I have been trying to find the keys to some of my own "locked doors." With the help of Big Lou, a trainer who believes in believing in people and a group I meet with that continues to believe in me even when the scales at our weekly meetings should distort their beliefs. I am beginning to believe, with their support, that I am capable of achieving my weight loss goal. With the inspiration of others and my efforts to separate myself from one of my past blockers—procrastination, I can move on.

I am tired of being a prisoner in my own body. I know there are more people out there who have been captured and seek release. Please share with me some of your challenges and strategies for getting free and plugging some of those "holes."

By the way… my mother lived to be 89 and my friend Ann is doing quite well.

Who's The Bear?

Life

I graduated from John Bartram High School - Philadelphia, PA in 1962. I was blessed with a handsome son, Alexander Jr. by my wonderful wife, Alfreda of 34 years before her passing in 1996. I left Philadelphia to work in Michigan, where I am now. One interesting note in my life has been a 38 year career in education and serving as superintendent of schools for 14 years working with students and parents with the same problems I created for teachers and administrators when I was a student. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

I soon learned that if you did not have some formal education or a skill, life dealt you the low cards from the bottom of the deck. To help improve my odds, I made an attempt at higher education by enrolling in Cheyney State College- Cheyney, PA. Cheyney State provided tremendous support, but after a year, one lesson became clear: lack of serious preparation inevitably leads to desperation. I left Cheyney and joined the Army.

Military

My four years in the army was a great opportunity to see the world and grow as an individual. The army changed my life for the better. I could have gotten a great deal more if I had not spent so much time complaining. In many of my posts, I hope to share (and receive from you) realistic ideas for getting the most from our present situation.

It's often said that 'when life hands you lemons make lemonade", but how do you apply this principle when life punches holes in your cup!?

Workplace

At the time of this post, I have been retired for almost three years. It's been a challenging adjustment not having to be somewhere and do something to earn a living. I have worked since I was 16 years of age. Now, I "earn a check" once a month while doing nothing! It's a beautiful thing, I think...

I am Dr. B -- The Bear --giving you real talk about plugging holes in life. Keeping it real: some holes are only imagined.